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Marriage Update 7-17-2013

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Equality for All

Quote forThought

In a personal video posted on Current TV January 17, Al Gore spoke out in favor of the freedom to marry. The former vice president stated: “I think that gay men and women ought to have the same rights as heterosexual men and women, to make contracts, to have hospital visiting rights, to join together in marriage, and I don’t understand why it is considered by some people to be a threat to heterosexual marriage to allow it by gays and lesbians.” "Shouldn’t we be promoting the kind of faithfulness and loyalty to one’s partner regardless of sexual orientation?"

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The American Psychiatric Association Decides To Approve Legalization of Civil Same Sex Marriage in Atlanta,Georgia

Thirty years ago the American Psychological Association took homosexuality off of their list of mental disorders. Now they have decided that due to equality issues same sex marrige should be legal.

It is time that families in America takes homosexuality off of their hate, and mental disorder agenda. Nobody says it is easy to have one of your family memebers come out of the closet and admit that they are different from the rest of the normally accepted members of society.

Many issues make it harder for homosexual people to live a "normal life". To constantly live in fear of being "found out", then" thrown out of your families home", is a daily anxiety. The fear of the loss of love and support of your mother and father is a major fear. Next the loss of other loved ones love and acceptance can be catastrophic. Then there is the issue of grandchildren, and an extension of family ties.

One of tht things that families need to take note of is the fact that there are so many divorces theses days anyhow. So why force someone whom you already know does not want a heterosexual lifestyle, and cannot be expected to actually live that life to make an effort to do so? What kind of sense does that make, none!

Equality of The Heart

by Diane Knaus

Okay lets get real. The things that break up a marriage are infidelity, and loss of trust, either one can destroy a relationship. Add to that a mix of emotional instability for reasons which some people cannot control unless they are on a strict regime of regular medications like that for Manic Depression, or Bipolar disorder and things can unravel quickly. Then you add to the mix alcoholism, and hard drug use either of which can destroy most any relationship.Many people who have these problems are self medicating themsleves. Because they do not have the personal skills to know what to do or who to turn to because they have lost their trust in mankind. Trust needs to begin at home or if it does not exist then the personal determination to seek out the needed help that some public organizations provide is not a shamful action, but a strong one of determination to succeed. There is no shame in asking for help, rather, it is a strong person who asks for what they need.

At the current time the divorce rate is aproximately 43% of those who are getting married today who will find themselves in a divorce court. Age also has a lot to do with it. The earlier a person marries the stronger the chance for a divorce. Because they are young and immature, and reacting to their hormone levels is only a part of the reason.

Educational levels also affect marrriage because of what people learn opens them up to being non-judgemental. If a person has a four year college level education, sometimes, and I say sometimes because there are college educated people who don't have any logical/common sense, but they are really smart in their field of study, if they will focus on their needs and their partners needs then they can make it. But, only if they make an honest effort to accomodate the other persons' needs as well will the relationship last a long time.

There is some evidence that couples who go to church together and pray together will remain married. Seems like they focus on what Jesus actually said and did, then try to emulate him in their daily lives. If a person has a strong commitment to their religious beliefs and their partner joins in on a regular basis then they have a better than average chance of making that relationship work for them. When two people work together to help other people without looking to gain anything for themselves, but just to help, then they will receive blessings that they would not have thought of. And it does not matter weather they are heterosexual or gay, transgender, or lesbian when they extend their hand to help another person.Why should someone care weather the helper is heterosexual or gay ,transgender, or lesbian as long as their are no strings attached to the help?. It has been reported that the Baptist religion has more marriage break ups than the rest of the denominations.

Let us accept each other on the basis of equality of the heart. Life is too short to keep arguing and upsetting each other and our families, lets agree to disagree on some things and let them go. Lets focus on the good things in life. Let us love each other and accept our choices and at the same time open our hearts to other good people who may be involved.If to keep peace in the family has to do with someone who comes to dinner that you don't care for, be gracious, think of it as one hour out of the rest of your life so that you don't make enemies of those in your families who you really do care about!

If two people care about each other, who cares if they are hetrosexual or not? What is the point? As long as they care about each other, love and supporrt each other, it is nobody else's business. Why does some of the American public demand that everyone be hetrosexual? Could it be that someone in your family is not hetrosexual? Does that mean that that person has no value, that they cannot love another person in the family? That they are not entitled to have a god job and also pay taxes, just like you do, is a complete farce.

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Same Sex Marriage in Canada

Same sex marriage has been legal in 10 places in Canada since 2004

California Legislature Passes Same Sex Marriage Law

9-8-2005

Both houses approved the new law, however the Governor Huge ego AAAnold Schwarzeneggar has said he will veto the new law

New Jersey allows civil unions as does New Hampshire, New Mexico, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont, Massachusettes provide same sex marriage protections and weddings. However, you must live in Massachusettes to do so there.

Hawaaii has same sex partnership laws, as does California, Maryland, Maine provides legal protections. In Oregon you can register for same sex partnerships,as in Washington state.


The Episcopal Church (the US branch of the Anglican Communion) and the Evangelical Lutheran Church permit same-sex unions, as does the United Church of Christ, and the Unitarian Universlist Churches

Same sex marriages have been approved by Labrador and Newfoundland and Ontario provinces in Canada.

Same Sex Marriage is a Happening in Canada

as of July 28, 2005
by Reverend Martha Anne Daniels
Metropolitan Community Church of Windsor,Ontario Canada

Thursday, December 9, 2004 Today’s opinion by the Supreme Court of Canada opens the door for a federal law allowing same sex marriage everywhere in Canada. Ontario has just approved their same sex laws as of last week. Currently, some of the provinces have legislation that allows same sex marriage, while others do not. Under Canada’s constitution, the non-conforming provinces (those who do not allow same-sex marriage) will have to allow it. This is based on Canada’s Charter of Rights and Freedoms, which includes gays and lesbians. I have been increasingly disturbed by some of the rhetoric I hear coming from opponent to same-sex marriage. Their opposition to it seems to come in three forms:

“That’s not what God intended,” aka “It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”
“Marriage is between a man and a woman—that’s the Biblical/traditional model.”
“Same-sex marriage demeans opposite-sex marriage.”

The first two statements are closely related in taking the Bible or tradition as the foundation of their argument. But there are several problems with doing this. First is that, especially in Canada (and the US, for that matter), the population is diverse, and many do not think of the Christian Bible as a religious text that should guide their lives (First Nations people, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, atheists). Even among Jews and Muslims, who hold the Hebrew Bible sacred (Jews) or recognize Jews and Christians as allied “People of the Book” (Muslims), there is an understanding that translation alters perception, and that the world of the Bible is not the world of today. You cannot take the religious text of one segment of the population and make it the guideline for the whole nation’s laws. Secondly, there are issues with translation and context. For example, Biblical scholars simply aren’t sure what the word “arsenokoitoi” means (the word in one of Paul’s letters that is usually translated as “homosexual”). We live in a different world than that of the Biblical prophets and law-givers—after all, we freely blend linen and cotton in our clothing, eat shellfish, and put cheese on our meat—all of which are forbidden by Leviticus. Why, then, select one prohibition which is called an abomination, not a sin—on a par with having sex with a woman during her period—and make that the central issue?

As to the idea of “traditional” marriage—for centuries, a family was the extended family—grandfather, three sons and their wives and children, an unmarried uncle, the poor cousin from the country, the servants—all living in one home. Most of those marriages were arranged—to add land to the family holdings, or to make business alliances, or add to a nation’s political strength. The so-called nuclear family wasn’t seen in the US until the early years of the 20th century. And even in the past hundred years, there have been many households that did not fit that model—blended families with second marriages, sisters sharing a home after their parents died, and so on. The so-called “traditional” family simply did not exist as a majority arrangement on an extended basis.

And how can we say what God intended? I don’t think any of us has a direct line to the Divine so that we can state unequivocally that such and such is what God wants, except in general terms—care for one another, for example. The Biblical model argument is simply absurd. Most of the patriarchs and kings of the Hebrew Bible (Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, Solomon, for example) had more than one wife. Even in the New Testament, there is very little conversation about marriage, except that Jesus forbids divorce, and Paul recommends it as an alternative to burning with lust. Women became the property of their husbands after marriage, for the most part—we surely aren’t going back to that model of marriage! There are other institutions we have dropped since New Testament times—slavery, for example.

A friend of mine, when faced with that last statement—that his same-sex marriage is demeaning to opposite-sex marriage—asks why this is so—how does his marriage harm theirs?—and has never really gotten a reply. There is no answer to this, because it simply isn’t true. How does it demean marriage that more people want it? It does not harm the institution of marriage, it strengthens it, that more people want it. Unless, of course, you view marriage as a sort of country club that only “certain people” should be allowed to join. In that case, why not require training and a licence, as we do for driving a car or truck, being a lawyer or doctor, or running a hair salon? What you are saying is that people who want same-sex marriage—be they gay, lesbian or bisexual—are not as good as you are. They are, in some indefinable way, less of a person than you are, and not worthy of the exalted state of marriage. I would have thought that people who think so much of marriage would be delighted that people want to make a commitment such as marriage!

(As an aside, we LGBT folks can’t win. We can’t marry in most places, so we have private commitment ceremonies, or simply don’t make the commitment. Then we’re blasted by commentators for our lack of commitment and loose sex lives, when we can’t make those commitments legal in the first place!)

One final statement that I have been hearing angers me. Self-righteous pastors of conservative denominations stand up and say that same-sex marriage infringes on their freedom of religion. As a Christian minister, this infuriates me. No one can be forced into betraying their religious conscience in Canada (or the US). If a minister does not want to perform a marriage—for any reason!—she or he does not have to. As a pastor, there are many reasons I might not wish to perform a particular marriage—I do not feel the couple is ready, or they want marriage for the wrong reasons, or any number of other reasons. And I highly doubt that any same sex couple would approach a pastor of a denomination that condemns same sex marriage to ask him or her to perform their marriage! More than the simple logic of this, there is simple justice at work.

My religion, my understanding of Christianity, tells me that I may enter into a same sex marriage. If I cannot marry the woman of my choice, then my religious freedom is being limited, is it not? My religion says it is a good and holy thing, to make a commitment before God and the community, and certainly permitted. More than that, I can perform both same sex and opposite sex weddings—but only the latter are recognized by the government. Is that not an infringement of my religious freedom?

Same sex marriage contributes to the stability of society in the same way that opposite sex marriage does. A commitment to another person, a promise to stay with them and do your best to work through difficulties, to support them when things are not going well (illness, loss of employment, etc.), and to share yourself and your life with that person—how can that be evil or wrong or dangerous to a third person? Of course it is none of these things, whether the two people making that commitment are of the same sex or not.

Marriage is not for everyone, whether they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or straight—but there should not be barriers for those who are called to this covenant.


So You Want to Know About Marriage
Gay Marriage - You Can Get Any Metropolitan Community Church Minister to Perform the Ceremony, but you must have a Canadian marriage license, and it is legal in Canada. MCC ministers in the U.S. will perform Holy Union Ceremonies, they are not legal except in Massacheusettes and Connecticut, and California.
Heterosexual Marriage - You too can get married in Canada immediately, as long as you get a marriage license, and any minister will provide the ceremony. The marriage will be legal anywhere.

If you have been married before you must submit legal divorce papers, only then will your Canadian marriage be legal.